deep in the dream of you

She left me and I didn't follow. She walked unsteady, seemingly aimlessly as if still sleeping. The forest was dead quiet. All I could hear was the cracking of the branches under her bare feet. I slowly silently counted the steps, trying to calm her and stay with me a bit longer. She set her pace down, but she didn't stop and she didn't turn around. I knew this would happen, she told me right at the beginning. She never turns back.
I should have gone away days ago, I shouldn't have approached her at all. Something had pulled me to her, the choices I had made through life all led up to that point. When I was standing in the shadows watching her put her feet in the lake, the decision was made as soon as her toes touched the surface. As the rings spread across the water, so did our story over time.

She was caught in the dream. That dream where i would find her on the beach. She shivered as if drenched in water. Her muscles sore as if she had been fighting for her life. Her skin numb and her mind blank. She mumbled those last words over and over "Im sorry". Her head slightly tilted and lips touching something she loved. They touched me in that dream of hers. I couldn't wake her, she had already left. I couldn't put my arms around her like I would do in the dream, she wouldn't accept me in this form. It was too real, too close.
I felt sweat dripping from my fingers. The weight of the future was too much to hold. I fell to my knees and started to cry. Watching her feet as she walked right past me. I was broken. I wanted her to talk to me again as if she didnt know me and still trusted me. I wanted her to hold me in her eyes again. But she wouldn't turn back.

You make me weak and soft, how precious you are to me.
He fell to his knees thinking I couldn’t see him anymore. But I saw him. I loved him like I had always loved him, with my heart engulfed in flames. I smiled, but he didn’t see. His eyes was fixed on my feet. The forests uneven floor tickled and stung me. My hand just over his hair, my fingers pinching one strand and pulling it off his head. He didn’t notice. He was crying. I inhaled the air he had been breathing, I inhaled the scent of his tears and sweat.
I knew I was lost. I knew just how lost I was, deep in the dream of you.