heavy was the sound when the gates opened to let the bird out. slow was the dragging of the closing. it was so soft, so gentle. i didnt even realise what had happened until long moments after. when time seem to have changed suddenly. not in speed but in texture. in form and taste. detached and drifting again i felt spaces deep embrace again. my souls companion, ever watching, never understanding, but always surrounding me with cool observing abcence. nothing is recognised, nothing missed. the only thing i can be sure of is the eternal silence, and that it will never, ever. leave me.
måndag 29 september 2025
tisdag 23 september 2025
iron clad - scar clasped
solitary celestary
slow as we go
here - ever
tisdag 16 september 2025
kan du sluta
dina fingrar är elektriska
det rör sig genom huden, mina kläder, luften
jag kan känna när du ser på mig, när du vänder dig mot mitt håll, när dina tankar rör sig mot min kropp
jag kan inte låta dig ta på mig, stöten gör ont och väcker liv i saker som borde fortsätta sova.
föralltid.
jag glömmer migsjälv, jag vet inte vart jag är
kan du sluta se på mig
sluta andas ett tag
jag orkar inte
söndag 14 september 2025
Hope is the thing with iron feathers
Hope is the thing with iron feathers
It flutters the heart
Climbs with violence, soars without winds
plunges deep into the soul
And it never stops. At all.
fredag 12 september 2025
all g
ill pretend im not human
ill trancend
ill act like you breathing is
not a big deal
its ok with me
it doesnt do anything
to me
onsdag 10 september 2025
sinner one see all
you drew me to an oasis
and i jumped from the 15th floor
the trick of illusion hid rows of spikes
death was instant and that i have you to thank for
what does the heavens have in store for you my love
a soft tender girl that will carefully see to your needs
she will know how to feed you and make you feel safe
she breathes life into you and you will always be right
when youre angry she wont see it
you can do no wrong
it will be calm balanced free from pain
love in its gentlest form
and me?
what could the undead wish for
for wants the bell tolls
only deepest loss could stirr the bells in me
so why do they chime
you gave me my life back
what else is there
you woke the child from feverish nightmares and put her in deep healing rest
what else could i ask for
now finally safe, we sway
sway sway to the tintinnabulation
we have everything
heart safely in the comfortable chokehold of your beautiful fingers
i was shocked at how deeply you feel and how desperate the stuggle to hide
i will leave you be
ringing in my ears so lound in the silence
nothing is lacking
still now bells
still as he sleep
still now
still as death tolls
tisdag 9 september 2025
when enough
come eat my skin
gnaw my bones
pluck my wings
clog my throat with lies
words nestle deep between my legs
fill my cells with confliction
make war
only war
in my body only war
we will be the same
we have always been the same
måndag 8 september 2025
sindromeda
The sun unsettles me
Because
Behind my eyelids there’s only inverted light
The sun pierces
Calls for energy bursts and happiness
The grass smiles
It unsettles me
Stockholm syndrome
Lock me up
Stockholm syndrome
Darkness owns my body
spiteful heart
How I long for my final and only true friend
How it longs for me
How cruelly this heart keeps beating
To spitefully keep me from my destiny
My friend that never abandoned me,
that speaks truth with clarity
passion is the violence of the heart
How you shiver under the vibrations of my voice. Do I scare you. Was it always like this, but I just didn’t realise. Like the humming of the sun, would she know that she is violence. Erupting flares. Did I hurt you again?
I’ve been told I play too hard.
I see myself as weak, as a blunt broken sword. Now matter how hard the swing, how can it possibly cause damage.
How can it hurt you when I’m only swinging at myself.
Can you forgive me. Just this one time. Please forgive me. It will never happen again.
I was seeking out and killing every last trace of affection in my heart. Blitzkrieg I fired through the passages burnt every corner, every hidden lair.
Layers of forgotten things. It will burn. In this hot month of August I will make sure it all burns.
cold bones
flesh on bones
and a heart inbetween
grinding against castaway splinters and rooms full of sin
your demon in the corner scared me wake
violence pulled me from sleep
and there was a message from you
a warning a call a begging and a roar
with death in its eyes staring me down
you want me to leave or want me to run
where can i hide where you are not
tell me i'll go there gladly
lay my cold bones let me restlessly twist out of myself
a turn so hard nothing is left
but cold bones, charred pieces that refused to cinder
ill stop burning for you
ill die on my own
these cold bones
we dont need you