wilder still

I tossed a coin

That fell deep in the well of your soul

I breathed slowly into your lungs

I mended your heart with my persistent care

And sowed seeds on your barren lands with soft words

However, stuck in my own well

Fresh air was scarce; I gave you all I could gather

I cared for little else

I watched my seeds bloom to small flowers only to die

My garden is wild, how fast you could get lost

When you leave to find another place to rest your head

Some other place to gather honey

Know that it will be growing wilder still

If your touch is tender and grip is firm

I might lead you further in

For now my child runs from you

Hides in bushes thick with thorns

I cannot afford to have a wanderer

Lay hands on her delicate skin

the same as always

the dreams came as a warning
and all the pain of loosing him rushed back to me
i loved him again, i longed for him just like then
it was the same as always
and i learned what had grown in darkness

deep down where i had buried us
it was a beautiful pain, like staring into the sun
it was a new star, that had defied the black hole
sucked inside it, i thought all was finally gone
but worlds had formed there, and i was getting glimpses of it
he held me, he whispered in my ear, he kissed me, i kissed him
we played on the streets and i had more than i wished for

i was happy like a child
i woke up, the feelings lingering
i wondered if he was shaken too
not a word, not a sound
it was the same as always
and i was changing again

and the rain kept falling

All I could do was lay there and listen to the rain
The dreams washed over me like waves
and brought you with them like a seashell or a stone
you left me empty to fill me up again
and the rain kept falling

Lingering

I will love you

As I did yesterday

Unrestrained, seeking, lingering

You opened the door

Just a crack

I suck in the air from the other side

You are there

I feel you scent

-Open a little bit more, my dear.

I promise not to intrude

Let me see a finger, a toe, a glimpse of your smile

-Talk to me, my sweet

I’m standing right here

I will listen with a timid ear

Reply with a soft voice

Thus I will love you-

Until I love no more

Unconditionally, persistent, warm

I wait here

Maybe we will meet again

You wander around on the other side

In your own world

I know you are there

I hear your voice.

I saw what I am to become

I’ve trod the swamp of the slowly flowing past

I’ve swam with the high current of things that’s to be

But tonight for the first time I was separated from my shell

I saw what I am to become

A wanderer, an oracle

One tear for lost unknowing innocence

Another for the painful growing

Shattered parts connecting

Long lost thoughts crawling into my bed after midnight

I close my eyes and they creep up my legs

Snare around my neck

Mumble whisper words

So many words

So many threads

strings shooting out crossing each other

creating a nest

anchoring me to the world around

layers of webs

layers of veils

one on top of the other

I rest there in fear of my dreams

I lay here attached and out of reach