a bottle of beam

I guess you cant consider yourself a real writer until you have a dedicated desk and a bottle of whiskey next to you as you write. I can say i relate much more deeply with the works i deeply loved. I have a deeper and more profound. How empty these words seem. If youre as read as Morrossey, youd know. But I seriously dont think you can truely know until you write with the intention of publishing. I am now reading. Hang on i need to get a proper chair.
Hang on i need to get a sweater because my skin is sticking to the glass surface off my desk.

Okay now im comfortable. Lets start again.
Lets consider this a different type of communication. A slow and sporadisk slice of life type of communicado. Will you let me mix languages. Okay, maybe i should have introduced it way differently. I will now let you know how this will be packaged.

This is the format : There is no format.

The insight to my mind will always be chaotic and intense. If you think youre this type of person, who can take on a challenge of a disrupted mind. All i can say is. Good luck. I dont regret and will not apologise for anything that can, could and will be written in this document. This is the current of my mind. Step in at your own risk.
And please enjoy

I slow walked into a body of wind

 

Before I ordered the drink, the bartender and I looked at each other for the longest time. Everything was set in place. For just this one moment. Time inhaled, sighed with relief. We had peace between all tribes, the aor flashed a faint smile. When it reached me from across the wooden counter, polished to perfection, to the point where I felt I was the first one sitting down in this seat. He put me in my place, he waited patiently. Gracefully tending  to his side. Keeping all neat and tidy. When I was ready, he slowly approached, with perfect balance- And I was ready. We enjoyed the moment, a comfortable silence between two men knowing instantly they’re on the same wavelength.

We waited until right before the air got restless and started to vibrate. Right before the voices turned into angry neglected animals.

You can’t claim a moment for too long.

The shadows will grow, and if you let them, they will keep growing until they swallow everything. 

There'll be nothing left, only my hands resting on the notebook and his on wood.

i knew the words

Hungrily inhaling castaway conversations

Yearn for knowledge and pray for peace of mind

Only two steps away from the edge of the world

The abyss was calling and stray voices sidled in the thick air behind me

i knew the words, 

but I did not know the owners.

I saw the morning air, but it wouldn't touch my skin

I watched the sun rise, but the light didn’t reach me

In a stronghold I stood
Rocks as boots

From each side of the valley,

we called 

High echoes and slow murmurs of trees

below

6/10-21 Gduńsk

You smile

 I see you on the beach

Someone is sitting next to you

The wind carries her voice 

It’s soft and gentle 

You smile

I walk away

Worlds Parted

I need to scream into space

I want to disappear into the void of your mouth 

In the Black depth of your mind, it’s deadly quiet

Come rest your hand on my eyelids 

Cover me with silence and let my heart choke in slow hard beatings

“I can’t reach you”

There is no “us”

When will you find me here 

Drawing in the cold air

Exhaling clouds of white breath

It lingers, waiting for you

In a misty veil resting on a meadow

The careful murmur of little critters

The sleepy morning calls of birds

Lie down next to me

Let’s watch the day come

When the sun is up, it will eat our skin

Be still and let it take us

Be quiet while the world sing

Stay with me even when hurts

All yours

Catch a bird

Just to hear it flutter

Cup your hands around it’s tiny body 

Feel it struggle 

Put your arms around my broken heart 

Watch the poison pour out 

Stand in the acidic flame

Slow burning

Mesmerizing in its death dance

Licking your feet

Kissing your calves

As my heart implodes, maybe you’ll finally see 

What you filled me up with

Take it, take all of it

Inhale deeply

Starch, creeping, sickly sweet 

It’s all yours, it’s always been yours