himlen är oskyldigt grå

surreptitously

 we both know youre coming back. 

lets think about how we want it to be after

wasting time without you

 i dont want to leave you alone.

i want to hang on your back with my head on your shoulder

i want to sigh when you look away

i want to stream endlessly my inner voice over you

watch you when you sleep and impatiently wait for you to wake

pout when you close yourself off

get angry when you dont understand

i want to spend hours watching you, to figure out what you need

when you wake up, how can i make you smile

can i touch your hair?

how can i make you happy. 

by leaving you alone..?

a thousand pieces of my naked body

 a thousand wild ants

eating at my flesh

i spread the sugar

i lie still and let them crawl

does he resent me now

my skin sinder

i ashen

i think he left long ago

i watch giant crowns of trees sway

another bite, are they not done yet

how much left now, can you check, i cant feel anything

let them pick me like im a field of a thousand flowers

 would i recognise you in any shape

if a pull is instictive, i assume its you

will you get angry if i fail?

in my wicked world - he would reach out for me a thousand times

in my wicked world - if he doesnt then let me betray him a thousand times

for me its you, always you

only you

im searching for

solace in silence

do you hate me this deeply because i seen your soul

you travel steady calmly on the wildest sea

my storm is no match to your waves

our rythms entwine so gracefully, its blindingly beautiful

you can leave dramatically, close doors and throw me

when souls speak, humans should rest

the ways of walking alone

 relief was breif

i moved south and the comforting blanket of white ran thinner

things buried beneath, the complexities

i cant escape

for as long as you decide, youll be the soil for my seeds

youll be the shades of my darkness

my silent companion casting a curse on every new path that opens up

the ways of wrapping myself in this solitude

his black bitter jealousy 

is my water