i wish i could say i mean you well

please stay away from me. dont tempt our fate.

please leave it be.

furtively

you dont know the web im weaving

as am i, unconcious of it

i can only sense its existance

as if it comes from a different desperate dimension 

she is so full of fury

bereft blooming fire

why wont she stop

leave it in peace, please lets let go of it

she refuses, she will have her way

demon of my heart be still

fire must be kept within me

if you touch me you will be engulfed

if you look at me she will lead you straight down

to her own spun hellfire, created just 

for 

you

i have to go

 when i was standing infront of the stone wall

it towers over me

i press my forhead against the cold surface

i know it will not give

like the ocean it calls me at night

in the climb i claw my nails off

if i was welcome the heavy gate would be open

there would be no long dark nights

cold winds moving dusty ghosts 

and a hard moon

if i stay here i will see someone else walk in

i have to go

i shouldnt be here

himlen är oskyldigt grå

surreptitiously

 we both know youre coming back. 

lets think about how we want it to be after

wasting time without you

 i dont want to leave you alone.

i want to hang on your back with my head on your shoulder

i want to sigh when you look away

i want to stream endlessly my inner voice over you

watch you when you sleep and impatiently wait for you to wake

pout when you close yourself off

get angry when you dont understand

i want to spend hours watching you, to figure out what you need

when you wake up, how can i make you smile

can i touch your hair?

how can i make you happy. 

by leaving you alone..?

a thousand pieces of my naked body

 a thousand wild ants

eating at my flesh

i spread the sugar

i lie still and let them crawl

does he resent me now

my skin sinder

i ashen

i think he left long ago

i watch giant crowns of trees sway

another bite, are they not done yet

how much left now, can you check, i cant feel anything